Sunday, October 22, 2006

Creation

Creation

She knows which cow gave
which butter and which flower
made which scent and she can
pick a diamond from zirconia.
She can discern a photo booth
from a portaloo - that’s a story
for another time by another,
which involves a wayward
swinging claw from a crane.

She hopes there’ll be leather
handbags and shoes in heaven
and galleries of oil paintings,
creeks to wade in, gold ripe
for panning from sand and silt
and jade to cleave and shine.

With an open heart, she fills
the cavities of creation; black
holes become orchestral pools
rippling with sonic laser pulses.
Percussions abound, unflinching
against the hurl of knotted wet
sheets against steel mesh panes.
Ball bearings, stones and bones
ricochet from star to star.

~Coral~

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good effort on transformation written in the third person. We want to know who this person is. Witholding the photo booth confusion may or may not be good. My one technical suggestion is to watch your line breaks; many of them are arbitrary and no better than chopped prose.

Thine,

CE

CoralPoetry said...

Craig Erick,

Thank you for visiting my blog. I realize the great effort you put into helping others. Yes, this poem is a transformation of sorts. It is a first draft and is very prosaic. The portaloo was a bit of non-fictional flippancy in an otherwise serious poem. I always try to include some humor in my poems.
From hereon, I will probably be posting much of the same because time is of the essence. The person is ... ehem ... “Mother Nature”.

Sincerely
Coral

Jim said...

jim
(www.blogger.com/profile/1446661)

has left a new comment on your post "Creation":

Good poem. I enjoyed it.

Tofu-Sama said...

That`s a living and sweet poem, dear, who is based this poem in?
I`ve sent you the reply of the mail. If I delayed the delivering, was because there are some works in my house, the roof has been removed and it will be replaced to another model. It`s so funny to sleep under stars!
And the breeze feels really pleasant.

Kisses and love:
Raul.

Tofu-Sama said...

Tofu - sama has left a new comment on your post "Creation":

Hello again my dear.
I really miss the cbox, what happened?
More important, how are you doing now?
I really hope you are doing fine, dear. And if the pain is unbearable, think about the words I told you before.
When you send me a message, I`ll be happy.
All my love, dear.
Raul.

CoralPoetry said...

Jim,

Thank you for passing by my blog and for enjoying my poetry.

I've been reading yours for quite a while and I consider your poetry to be very well formed and reader friendly.

Tofu-Sama,

Thank you for dropping by here and thank you for your comforting emails.

Love,
Coral

Darkwing said...

Hi Coral!

Another wonderfully imaginative piece of poetry. Keep up the good work!

Darkwing

. . . said...

I liked this poem. It captures a bit of life.
I especially like the last two lines.

Keep writing!