Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Product Tester

Product Tester

I could have won 1000 Laptops but do not
have the requisite number of laps or fingers.
I could learn the secrets of selling stuff
on Ebay and buy the potions and gadgets
for everlasting life, hermetically sealed,
to excise my cellulite, to invigorate my cells
by electrical vibrations and clear my sinuses
and arteries whilst I sleep. I could have
self-servicing, rechargeable panties
and a year’s supply of fabric softener
if I had the right zip code and a fuzzy
logic washer. I could have my cables
co-ordinated and solar fed to activate
remote controlled drapes and blinds,
light switches and windows in two
easy steps and 10 years to pay.

A training hunk could show me how
to challenge and overcome the hunger
by diarising every morsel consumed,
and all my ambulant and treadmill activities.
I should attribute my victory, on daytime
TV, to the hunk and sing his praises aloud.
Six lotto tickets could elevate my sex drive
to higher levels of stealth and compunction.
I could hush the voices in my head with Bose
audio and visual dampers and lasers.

A government-sponsored educator
pushed open my door a hairbreadth
and posted the fast-track facts through
the gap, a three month study course
to turn me into a Judge, a Doctor
or Nuclear Scientist. But no, I failed
the routine credit check. An organism
is judged upon the amount it owes
divided by the amount it consumes.
The more one borrows, or leeches,
the greater the credit potential.
If you own everything you possess
and you create minuscule by-products
then you may as well sell your soul
back to God and crawl under a stone.



Gordon Moss said...

It looks fine. My cat came back the other day with a top hat he took from Frosty the Snowman, who was built by his imaginary friend. I thought you'd like to know that. Gordon Moss, The World's Greatest Network Marketer

CoralPoetry said...

Gordon Moss

Thank you for replying to my plea. I remember you. I replied to your blog last September, but both the blog and my reply disappeared into the ether. But I found it again.

I hate marshmallows, too. They are very strange sweets. The first one is usually quite tantalizing, but the second makes me gag. The third definitely has an emetic effect. People probably throw them on the barbeque to test their entropic and thermodynamic qualities. I’ve never seen anybody eat one whilst sober. I think they may be related to Turkish Delights, a definite no-go area in the stomach department. They are probably good for melting and sticking back the roof shingles, for grouting or repairing a hole in your shoes. The Greatest Marketer probably does not repair his shoes. He would probably sell the shoes and buy a canoe and cut it into convenient shoe size shapes.

Warm regards,

PS. I now have an error code to work from. Goodness knows where I am supposed to plant it but I know I mustn't lose it.

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Linda Faye said...

Coral, you have a future as a copy writer, but I doubt that you want it. You have a wise mind; the less we own, the more free our souls.
I missed the marshmallow blog. Marshmallows bother me, because they aren't from the marshes and they aren't mallows (which I believe are actia;;u some sort of plant). However, other than giving one a short-term euphoria from a sugar high,,marshmallows are inocuous, cubical and wan, bits of innocent fun to pop in your mouth. I'm not an afficianado, but I'm willing to let the marshmallow junkies indulge themselves.
Linda Faye

superstar said...

life just good

CoralPoetry said...

Kinjie, Celerman, Raul, (Tofu-Sama), Linda Faye, and Superstar

Thank you, all, for calling at my blog. I am very glad you did and have enjoyed my poems and pictures.

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Phoenix said...

A great being once said "Nothing that we create is our own". At one point this just clicks in, it becomes obvious, that is the truth in that sentence. Hard to explain someone mentally.
But then many things are hard to explain to people mentally...For example what you wrote in your blog about how an individual is judged by credit/ is so abhorable to you and me, but most people find it perfectly normal, dismissing your thought as a dreamer's dream an idealist non-existent utopia.
The bright side is, I am positive that slowly but surely, faster than ever, more people who are beginning to recognize an individual to be more than a body, possessor of things and even more than a mind.
BTW I also write poems, do check mine out at if you get a chance. I am gonna read yours now :)

Nabeel said...

nice .. didn't know product testers could understand poem .. u know they are technical .. but ya I see the humor in your poem :)

Gordon Moss said...

In case you've been wondering what I have been doing.

Gordon Moss agreed on Thursday to purchase a $1.75 million dollar rubber chicken collection from Herb Sanchez.

Gordon said "This is one of the largest rubber chicken collections in the world - in fact, it's a great day and a true joy to know the rubber chicken collection is owned by me, Gordon Moss."

Gordon Moss is famous for inventing the bendy straw, and the world's first condom made from cement.

Suzique said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, CoralPoetry! I'm enjoying yours--very erudite observations on the workings of life : )

Colm Smyth said...

Your blog really struck a chord with me this evening. It's true; in the end, we don't own possessions, they own us.

All we really own are our minds, the work of our hands, the expression in our eyes and our smile. That's where I look for the beauty in people.